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BYU basketball: Roger Reid assists spouse affected by Alzheimer’s

The morning breaks and one other day greets Roger Reid in his house in Spanish Fork.

His agenda is easy but difficult. He’s a caregiver to his spouse and sweetheart Diane.

Roger Reid is an brisk, outgoing passionate man. In seven full years as BYU’s head basketball coach within the Nineteen Nineties, his 152-76 report and .667 win share was one of the best at school historical past for any basketball coach who had labored greater than two years. He led BYU to a few WAC titles, 5 NCAA Event appearances and one NIT. His gamers graduated, they went on missions. They usually received.

Former BYU basketball coach Roger Reid poses along with his spouse Diane.
Reid household

However immediately, his profession on the sidelines within the high-stakes, emotional area that’s faculty basketball looks as if eons in the past.

The temporary respites he takes away are brief and fast as a result of he must be by his spouse’s aspect. If he can get Diane out for lunch, let her see the gorgeous mountains, and take within the recent air and revel in within the surroundings, he’s finished properly.

In a much more honest world, Roger, 74, and Diane, 75, would spend the autumn of their senior years touring all over the world, seeing marvelous wonders of each nature and mankind. They’d be utilizing their retirement mining larger ranges of enjoyment from their 15 grandchildren, and the life they’d labored all their lives for.

It could be a kinder, extra invigorating season for each of them. However like so many different older {couples} who see a partner encounter Alzheimer’s, plans change, instructions get readjusted and desires turn into one thing else.

For Diane, it began about three years in the past when she had bother remembering recipes. As soon as the valedictorian of her senior class at Spanish Fork Excessive, Diane earned a school diploma and labored as a first-grade instructor within the Nebo Faculty District, constructing relationships with generations of children who beloved her wit, kindness, humility and spirit.

Now, Diane retains repeating herself. She asks the identical query again and again. At first, Roger would get a bit exasperated and inform her, “Hey, you simply requested that only a minute in the past.” However he might see the look in her eyes that she didn’t perceive. He rapidly discovered to only reply and reply repeatedly to the inquiries.

Fortunately, Diane nonetheless acknowledges all her household and grandkids, who’re basketball gamers, elite dancers, play the piano and do gymnastics. They’re the love of Roger and Diane’s lives.

A humble privilege

Sitting in a Spanish Fork barbecue restaurant just lately, explaining his life immediately, Roger pauses. He bows his head. Tears begin to move. He’s humbled to the core describing what a privilege it’s serving Diane, repaying a debt he says he won’t ever steadiness.

“I’m so blessed and fortunate to get to do that,” he says. “She spent the final 55 years following me throughout. She put up with me being on the street on a regular basis. She was an angel having to place up with me. She put up with all of the negatives. She was all the time so constructive and gave me nice recommendation.

“She all the time supported me and had my again. She put up with the highs and lows of being a coach’s spouse. It was Diane who took our children to baseball and basketball video games, recitals, faculty actions, helped with homework and received the youngsters to do their chores. She was all the time there for me and I really like her a lot, I’ve a tough time describing it.”

Reid composes himself and tries to elucidate as greatest he can how he’s dealing with issues.

His first response to the query of coping is that what he’s doing is nothing. Then he admits, a few of it’s onerous. “It’s onerous, however I can do that as a result of she did a lot for me. I’ve sat in hair salons. When your spouse doesn’t have a driver’s license, you turn into her driver. I didn’t understand all of the little issues a girl does, issues I took as a right.

“To begin with, I by no means anticipated this presently in my life. Right here is an excellent woman, a wise lady and now this. Let me say this, I’ve discovered a lot extra about love, compassion, endurance and kindness.”

A distinct type of teaching

Reid compares what he has needed to do the previous few years at house to when his job was to show younger males to beat adversity, to choose themselves up after a loss, to seek out the power and stamina to work more durable after they cross powerful bridges.

“I coached powerful guys continually about overcoming tribulations, find out how to fight concern and disappointment and compete. I talked to highschool youngsters about life’s classes.

“Earlier than each follow, I used to collect all of the gamers across the bounce circle and we’d chant, ‘Each day, in each method, I’m getting higher.’ And we’d say it once more.”

Reid makes use of that mantra day by day.

“I really feel fantastic. I really feel terrific. I really feel nice. I’ve an attractive spouse who loves me. I’ve discovered to have nice empathy for others. You already know there are 3 million folks a yr that get Alzheimer’s. I’ve sympathy for what they’re going via. If it wasn’t for my religion, the what and the place I’m in my life, properly, my religion actually carries me, realizing the place we might be collectively as husband and spouse.”

Roger admits he’s no prepare dinner. His caregiving does contain his dedication 24 hours a day, seven days per week. “I can scramble eggs, however no, I don’t prepare dinner. We eat out quite a bit. I purchase some stuff that’s simple to place collectively for dinner, one thing easy.”

Whereas Diane remembers her household, she struggles to have conversations.

“This sort of hit us proper out of the blue. We by no means anticipated it. We had plans, a life we wished, issues we wished to do.”

However he praises his neighbors and mates who’ve been supportive. “It hasn’t simply been lip service. They’ve ministered to us. And my sons (Randy, Roger, Darren) and daughter (Kelli) have been superb in serving to out and supporting us. I can’t say sufficient about their devotion to their mom and to me.”

Reid continues to battle along with his personal well being. All his joints are bone on bone. He’s lived with arthritis most of his life and had surgical procedure on each ankles, has had a knee substitute and hip substitute surgical procedure on each hips twice. Certainly one of his ankles was fused. He’s in fixed ache and his nights are spent looking for a snug spot on his mattress that doesn’t make one thing damage.

‘Grateful to start every day’

However he refuses to explain himself as somebody to be apologetic about. “Lots of people have ache and damage much more than I do. I attempt to experience my bike each morning and get some train. I’m simply enthusiastic about life and grateful to start every day.”

His oldest, Randy, lives in northern Utah County not even quarter-hour away from his brother Robbie and the Reids’ solely daughter, Kelli.

Randy and Robbie each graduated from Harvard Enterprise Faculty and have labored in monetary planning and investments. Darren, who graduated from Ohio State Regulation Faculty, is a associate in Holland and Hart Regulation and was simply known as to be his ward’s bishop in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Kelli has 5 kids.

Roger says his grandchildren perform a little little bit of all the things, together with dance, gymnastics, baseball and basketball. He and Diane help all of them with pleasure.

Randy’s son Duncan, a 6-foot-4 taking pictures guard, simply completed his senior yr at Sky Ridge Excessive in Lehi the place he set a number of scoring information, together with a 43-point sport towards Lone Peak. Duncan began all 4 years in highschool, was All-State three straight years and is dedicated to Southern Utah, which provided him as a ninth-grader. He’ll serve a two-year mission first.

“Dunk’n Duncan is enjoyable to observe and he can actually shoot,” stated the proud grandpa.

Reid is among the solely main faculty coaches to ascertain a profitable report on the late Rick Majerus. As soon as passionate foes, Reid and Majerus grew to become very shut mates after Reid left BYU.

Reid, an assistant beneath Frank Arnold and Ladell Andersen at BYU for 11 years, was recognized for his emphasis on execution, protection and environment friendly scoring.

Nonetheless engaged within the sport

Requested what he considered the job BYU’s present coach Mark Pope is doing, Reid stated he had an eye fixed on Pope early, throughout his first head teaching job at Utah Valley College. Some issues, he stated, simply stood out with Pope.

“Once I watch a ballgame, I’m analyzing the demeanor of a coach, what he’s doing, how gamers react to the coach and what they do in important conditions. My previous coach, Dick Motta, taught me so many issues and he was far forward of the sport again in his day and a key was to being ready.

“When you’re enjoying a very good workforce, it boils right down to the final two minutes. That’s the place you win and lose video games. In case you are enjoying a nasty workforce, the 38 different minutes may not matter however the last two often do, the way you execute, who shoots the ball when, and the place.

“Even out-of-bounds performs could make the distinction in a sport. I made a brand new out-of-bounds play each week. We had out-of-bounds performs we solely used for particular events, and a few we by no means used however had, so the opponent couldn’t put together for it.

“Once I watched Mark’s groups play I used to be actually impressed with what he’s doing, the way in which his gamers reply and the way he will get them to play onerous on each ends of the courtroom. He additionally has distinctive inbounds performs to attain.”

Former BYU basketball coach Roger Reid and assistant coach Lynn Archibald on sidelines during game in Provo, Utah.

Former BYU basketball coach Roger Reid and assistant coach Lynn Archibald on the sidelines throughout sport on the Marriott Middle in Provo, Utah.
Tom Good, Deseret Information

Reid was impressed in how Pope is instructing the fundamentals like who to dam out, how screens are set, the power used to assault the boards and rebound and crisp passing.

“Dick Motta used to say you may stroll right into a health club and proper after the ball is tossed up within the bounce circle, you may inform which workforce is coached. Effectively, Pope’s workforce is coached. He’s enthusiastic and passionate. He cares about his gamers and it exhibits as a result of gamers purchase into his system.”

When changing Dave Rose, Reid stated athletic director Tom Holmoe visited with him and requested of all of the issues required of a coach at BYU, which of the candidates did he suppose would match that demand.

Reid stated it was Pope, no query.

In the midst of a brief lunch and chat, Reid reminisces about wins and losses, teaching methods, and large pictures. He talks about opponents like Air Pressure and the way essential it was to beat the Falcons as a result of not all of the WAC groups did. He relives the dagger bomb his son Robby made at Utah as a freshman, the halfcourt bucket by Kevin Nixon to beat UTEP within the WAC Event in Fort Collins, Colorado, and a breakdown of his grandson Duncan’s sport.

He talks about off-the-record issues, views, recollections, conditions, personalities. He exudes ardour for all the things in his life, even a uncommon spherical of golf, which he enjoys at Gladstan Golf Course in Payson and thanks head skilled Tracy Zobell for letting Diane experience with him for a spherical via the foothills and canyon course.

However, similar to that, he’s again to speaking about Diane, the love of his life. His job in life to be her caretaker. It’s an help he’s prepared to present.

As he climbs again into his maroon F-150 truck to drive away, he waves and smiles.

The break is over, it’s simply one other day.

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